?　　10月14日托福独立写作题目

　　“Do you think that one needs to take risks to finally reach success, or to keep cautious and careful and take risks less?

　　”Do you think that one needs to take risks to finally reach success 【审题关键词】, or to keep cautious and careful and take risks less?

　　写作前请一定仔细审题，本题不是单纯的比较“冒险”和“小心”，还有一个关键的限制是“目的在于最终获取成功”，如果漏掉了这一关键信息，作文很可能出现不够切题甚至彻底偏题的惨象。

　　【本期的范文推送，相较往期的推送，有一个特别的设计：思路解析 > 写作示范】

　　【本期的推送，笔者着重于分解introduction和conclusion的写法：段落内部的内容选择和文脉搭建】

　　【在接下来的阅读中，读者们会发现本文的body部分被隐去，以避免对于本期推送设计的学习重点的干扰】

写作思路

敲黑板·划重点

　　首先，introduction不宜长，不宜在进入主题前做长篇累牍的绕弯或铺垫。过度篇幅的introduction，尤其是铺垫部分，会给读者（即人类考官）制造阅读压力，打击读者的阅读愿望，引起读者的反感。

　　其次，introduction的结构可能不是最基础的“引入-论题-立场”结构。在introduction里可能会出现让步内容（一种特殊的让步内容位置），之后，作者可以通过转折来表明自己的立场。

　　【本文的 introduction 就采用了内置让步内容的方法】

　　Many people have the conception that they need to take risks to achieve success. This thought is provoked by the many inspiring stories where entrepreneurs, such as Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, dropped out of college and started their own businesses. Their bold moves are believed to be the key to their accomplishments. However, these successful individuals are the rare individuals. For the overwhelming majority of people, keeping cautious and careful is more rational.

　　信息流的顺畅 / 文脉的建立，方式（暗线）：指代

　　this thought --- the conception 名词指代名词

　　their bold moves --- dropped out of college 名词指代动词

　　本文的body部分被隐去

敲黑板·划重点

　　首先，conclusion也不宜长，不要在conclusion 里过度重复 body 里的细节。

　　其次，作为一个独立的段落，有起码两句话才是“守规矩”的，不建议考生只写一句话潦草收尾。

　　In conclusion, if a person’s goal is to achieve tremendous success, conservatism may be undesirable, because the greater is the risk, the greater is the reward. However, most people, whose objective is to secure moderate success, should keep cautious and careful.

　　更多精彩内容，尽在澳大利亚留学网托福考试频道。